3

It happens again.

The feeling is still there, unresolved.

We both actually have issues that we don't talk about.

More on me.

Because I kept things to myself a lot. I don't trust him to understand my feelings even if I were to talk about it. I always have this impression that he doesn't like the way I handle things/life and that even if I were to express my dissatisfaction, the problem actually came from me.

The current event seems proving my thought.

It was raya days, and also we have weddings to manage. It is my fault since I didn't prioritized them instead I was too busy lending my hand at my grandma's house. I don't serve them breakfast or take care of their needs at all, it seems. Well, I woke up early and I straight away dashed to grandma's house while they were still sleeping. It was not until nearly 10 when he texted me "Where is my bfast? Where is Thaqif's bfast?" "I am too upset right now. This whole raya, me and Thaqif are totally neglected."

I couldn't reply anything. I feel upset as well. There were so many things I wanna counter back. But I zipped my mouth, still. I was happy to be able to meet my family & relatives. I wanted to use most of my time to talk or meet or even smile to others because I am all alone here. I don't have anyone that I meet on regular basis other than my husband and my son. Of course, it is my fault to not taking care of their needs before heading out. But also, we were not staying at hotel. We stayed at mom's house, and it is not that they have to starve... Scratch that. The main point is, why didn't I think about them first before heading out of the house? --- Meals, has always been my source of problem with him. He has to eat whenever it is time to eat, and properly. As in, a complete meal. Not a stupid bread&jam or milo&hupseng. He is easily mad whenever food is restricted. We are totally different. I saw that, but I don't change my way accordingly.